What Am I Doing ?

Oh I am kidding

Is what I say when i am serious

I seem pathetic and in pain

When all i try to do is have senses regained

All i want is to talk

and i scare away people

and when i wish for a walk

it seems i am a cripple

And its not true

I am an idiot

But no evidence i produce

Testify it

Yesterday i lost so much

Yesterday was beautiful

Today i lost even more

Today i wish for a hope

It broke and i heard music

I lied and i believed in it

I see truth now

It looks like a shit

I wish i hadn't lied

And i would have wished i lied

Its a beautiful nightmare

A dream which never died

How I wish for a light

which isn't of a firefly

How i wish it might

It might happen this time

Why ? Why do

I run

I erase

I rewrite

and i forget

Oh my !

What am I doing ?

Such A Bright Light

The shadow of her face

Against such a bright light

I knew it will shine me

But I covered my face

It was such a bright light

That Sparkled her eyes

I knew I could have seen my reflection in it

But I closed my eyes

It was such a bright light

That colored her smile

I knew it would paint my heart

But I lost the brush

It was such a bright light

Turn Me Into Ashes

Walking on a long road,

I wish there was something I could board,

But the journey has to be made alone,

The bliss of goal would hide all the moan.

The wind is strong,

The sun blazing,

I am turning into ashes,

Falling down underneath the earth,

And it feels like an endless fall,

Surrounded with never ending wall,

Hope sounds alien,

There are questions.

Answer is a random lettered word,

They turned me into a bird,

A caged bird.

They laughed and faces were made.

Turn me into ashes, I said

They don't know I'm a Phoenix.

Bliss of Insanity

Two face,

In a race,

One runs ahead,

One creates the maze.

I laugh, I cry

I give up, i try,

It makes me so happy,

My head becomes sloppy,

The maze was clear now,

Its a new beginning I know,

Why it seems like an end ?

This always has been the trend.

Crazy... Crazy

This frenzy,

Not again,

This pain ,

I feel so insane,

The race never ends,

The joy never fades,

The pain never eliminates,

Do you feel ,

The Bliss of insanity ?