What Am I Doing ?

Oh I am kidding

Is what I say when i am serious

I seem pathetic and in pain

When all i try to do is have senses regained

All i want is to talk

and i scare away people

and when i wish for a walk

it seems i am a cripple

And its not true

I am an idiot

But no evidence i produce

Testify it

Yesterday i lost so much

Yesterday was beautiful

Today i lost even more

Today i wish for a hope

It broke and i heard music

I lied and i believed in it

I see truth now

It looks like a shit

I wish i hadn't lied

And i would have wished i lied

Its a beautiful nightmare

A dream which never died

How I wish for a light

which isn't of a firefly

How i wish it might

It might happen this time

Why ? Why do

I run

I erase

I rewrite

and i forget

Oh my !

What am I doing ?